1. An' that man sweat blood

  2. to put through that railway,

  3. And what he ever got out of it?

  4. And he said one thing: As it costs,

  5. As in any indian war it costs the government

  6. 20,000 dollars per head

  7. To kill off the red warriors, it might be more humane

  8. And even cheaper, to educate.

  9. And there was the other type, Warenhauser,

  10. That beat him, and broke up his business,

  11. Tale of the American Curia that gave him,

  12. Warenhauser permission to build the Northwestern railway

  13. And to take the timber he cut in the process;

  14. So he cut a road through the forest,

  15. Two miles wide, an' perfectly legal.

  16. Who wuz agoin' to stop him!

  17. And he came in and said: Can't do it,

  18. Not at that price, we can't do it."

  19. That was in the last war, here in England,

  20. And he was making chunks for a turbine

  21. In some sort of an army plane;

  22. An' the inspector says: "How many rejects?"

  23. "What you mean, rejects?"

  24. And the inspector says: "How many do you get?"

  25. And Joe said: "We don't get any rejects, our ..."

  26. And the inspector says: "Well then of course

  27.                                        you can't do it."

  28. Price of life in the occident.

  29. And C. H. said to the renowned Mr. Bukos:

  30. "What is the cause of the H. C. L.?" and Mr. Bukos,

  31. The economist consulted of nations, said:

  32.                                                 "Lack of labour."

  33. And there were two millions of men out of work.

  34. And C. H. shut up, he said

  35. He would save his breath to cool his own porridge,

  36. But I didn't, and I went on plaguing Mr. Bukos

  37. Who said finally: "I am an orthodox

  38. "Economist."

  39.                 Jesu Christo!

  40. Standu nel paradiso terrestre

  41. Pensando come si fesse compagna d'Adamo!!

  42. And Mr. H. B. wrote in to the office:

  43. I would like to accept C. H.'s book

  44. But it would make my own seem so out of date.

  45.               Heaven will protect

  46. The lay reader. The whole fortune of

  47. Mac Narpen and Company is founded

  48. Upon Palgrave's Golden Treasury. Nel paradiso terrestre

  49. And all the material was used up, Jesu Christo,

  50. And everything in its place, and nothing left over

  51. To make una compagna d'Adamo. Come si fesse?

  52. E poi ha vishtu una volpe

  53. And the tail of the volpe, the vixen,

  54. Fine, spreading and handsome, e pensava:

  55. That will do for this business;

  56. And la volpe saw in his eye what was coming,

  57. Corre, volpe corre, Christu corre, volpecorre,

  58. Christucorre, e dav' un saltu, ed ha preso la coda

  59. Della volpe, and the volpe wrenched loose

  60. And left the tail in his hand, e di questu

  61. Fu fatta,

  62.                      e per questu

  63. E la donna una furia,

  64. Una fuRRia-e-una rabbia.

  65. And a voice behind me in the street.

  66. "Meestair Freer! Meestair ..."

  67. And I thought I was three thousand

  68. Miles from the nearest connection;

  69. And he'd known me for three days, years before that,

  70. And he said, one day a week later: Woud you lak

  71. To meet a wholley man, yais he is a veree wholley man.

  72. So I met Mohamed Ben Abt el Hjameed,

  73. And that evening he spent his whole time

  74. Queering the shirt-seller's business,

  75. And taking hot whiskey. The sailors

  76. Come in there for two nights a week and fill up the café

  77. And the rock scorpions cling to the edge

  78. Until they can't jes' nacherly stand it

  79. And then they go to the Calpe (Lyceo)

  80. Screenshot 2017 12 07 16.03.49

  81. That fer the governor of Gibel Tara.

  82. "Jeen-jah! Jeen-jah!" squawked Mohamed,

  83. "O-ah, geef heem sax-pence."

  84. And a chap in a red fez came in, and grinned at Mohamed

  85. Who spat across four metres of tables

  86. At Mustafa. That was all there was

  87. To that greeting; and three nights later

  88. Ginger came back as a customer, and took it out of Mohamed.

  89. He hadn't sold a damn shirt on the Tuesday.

  90. And I met Yusuf

    and eight men in the calle,

  91. So I sez: Wot is the matter?

  92. And Yusuf said: Vairy foolish, it will

  93. Be sefen an' seex for the summons

  94. — Mohamed want to sue heem for libel —

  95. To give all that to the court!

  96.                So I went off to Granada

  97. And when I came back I saw Ginger, and I said:

  98. What about it?

  99.                 And he said: O-ah, I geef heem a

  100. Seex-pence.     Customs of the sha-ha-reef.

  101. And they were all there in the lyceo,

  102. Cab drivers, and chaps from tobacco shops,

  103. And Edward the Seventh's guide, and they were all

  104. For secession.

  105. Dance halls being closed at two in the morning,

  106. By the governor's order. And another day on the pier

  107. Was a fat fellah from Rhode Island, a-sayin':

  108. "Bi Hek!    I been all thru Italy

  109.                An' ain't never been stuck!"

  110. "But this place is plumb full er scoundrels."

  111. And Yusuf said: Yais? an' the reech man

  112. In youah countree, haowa they get their money;

  113. They no go rob some poor pairsons?

  114. And the fat fellah shut up, and went off.

  115. And Yusuf said: Woat, he iss all thru Eetaly

  116. An' ee is nevair been stuck, ee ees a liar.

  117. W'en I goa to some forain's country

  118. I am stuck.

  119.                W'en yeou goa to some forain's country

  120. You moss be stuck; w'en they come 'ere I steek thaim.

  121. And we went down to the synagogue,

  122. All full of silver lamps

  123. And the top gallery stacked with old benches;

  124. And in came the levite and six little choir kids

  125. And began yowling the ritual

  126. As if it was crammed full of jokes,

  127. And they went through a whole book of it;

  128. And in came the elders and the scribes

  129. About five or six and the rabbi

  130. And he sat down, and grinned, and pulled out his snuff-box,

  131. And sniffed up a thumb-full, and grinned,

  132. And called over a kid from the choir, and whispered,

  133. And nodded toward one old buffer,

  134. And the kid took him the snuff-box and he grinned,

  135. And bowed his head, and sniffed up a thumb-full,

  136. And the kid took the box back to the rabbi,

  137. And he grinned, e faceva bisbiglio,

  138. And the kid toted off the box to

  139.                  another old bunch of whiskers,

  140. And he sniffed up his thumb-full,

  141. And so on till they'd each had his sniff;

  142. And then the rabbi looked at the stranger, and they

  143. All grinned half a yard wider, and the rabbi

  144. Whispered for about two minutes longer,

  145. An' the kid brought the box over to me,

  146. And I grinned and sniffed up my thumb-full.

  147. And then they got out the scrolls of the law

  148. And had their little procession

  149. And kissed the ends of the markers.

  150. And there was a case on for rape and blackmail

  151. Down at the court-house, behind the big patio

  152.                   full of wistaria;

  153. An' the nigger in the red fez, Mustafa, on the boat later

  154. An' I said to him: Yusuf, Yusuf's a damn good feller.

  155. And he says:

  156.                          "Yais, he ees a goot fello,

  157. "But after all a chew

  158.                                        ees a chew."

  159. And the judge says: That veil is too long.

  160. And the girl takes off the veil

  161. That she has stuck onto her hat with a pin,

  162. "Not a veil," she says, "'at's a scarf."

  163. And the judge says:

  164.                Don't you know you aren't allowed all those buttons?

  165. And she says: Those ain't buttons, them's bobbles.

  166. Can't you see there ain't any button-holes?

  167. And the Judge says: Well, anyway, you're not allowed ermine.

  168. "Ermine?" the girl says, "Not ermine, that ain't,

  169. "'At's lattittzo."

  170. And the judge says: And just what is a lattittzo?

  171. And the girl says:

  172.                                    "It'z a animal."

  173. Signori, you go and enforce it.